Big WAVE!

2011-05-27T19:31:00.002+08:00

I felt a pang when I saw an ad for the new Clementi Mall in the papers today. It was one of those artist illustrations of the new mall rising behind the bus stop at the MRT station. Instantly it transported me back to our old neighbourhood.

I imagined myself shopping at the NTUC in the new mall, and having tim sum at the Crystal Jade Kitchen. How many times did I ride the 284 to the interchange, daydreaming along the way? And how many times did I walk Ave 5 back home after getting off the train? These were simple diversions and there should be nothing memorable about buying a pair of jeans at Giordano, or bringing home a packet of Brothers Rojak or roti prata. But there you have it. Nostalgia comes easy when times are gone, and now those seem like simple happy times, when the kids were little and it didn't take much to live comfortably.

2010-03-26T02:41:00.001+08:00

And as I feared, the 11th birthday was less than hoped for. Even with a special treat from her grandparents of high tea at the venerable Carolina Inn, and several things from her wishlist among her presents, not to mention dinner at Red Robin (her choice as queen of the day).

But tea wasn't fun because she couldn't bring a friend along, and dinner was spoilt because her sister sulked at the choice, and her presents didn't include the pretty evening purse that her sister got a month ago, and oh, why couldn't my birthday be on Friday and not Saturday anyway?

I wonder how old we have to be before we start to appreciate that once time is gone, it's gone forever. That 11th birthday will never come around again, so is it worth fretting that things don't always go according to some vague idealised expectations?

I guess that's a lesson that comes easier to some of us than others, and I just hope she realises it before too many birthdays have gone by.

2009-11-01T04:02:00.001+08:00

What Izzy found scary this Halloween was how something you've looked forward to for so long can turn out to be so disappointing. You can have an amazing circus ringmaster costume (red hunting jacket from thrift store $6, sequins and accessories from AC Moore $5, glitter hat from party city $6.99, jodhpurs and riding boots own), carve an awesome pumpkin ahead of time, and have your best friends over for a well-planned out sleepover and still.... your parents can spend too much time standing on a street corner in Meadowmont and talking with their friends till the houses run out of candy, the kids in your neighbourhood who were supposed to meet up on your cul-de-sac never show, and your sister can make the sleepover a misery by messing up your careful sleep arrangements and insist on having one of your three friends in her room in addition to her single own friend.

Ah. Now how will Thanksgiving and Christmas stack up? What about the 11th birthday next year? What's gonna fall flat next?

By contrast, Lexi takes these things very much in her stride. For months she had wanted to go as the Corpse Bride, but made a last minute change to use her Spiderella costume from last year as Vampira. I bought some fake fangs for her which she decided not to use in the end cos they made her drool. So she was some vaguely pale lass in a black dress but she couldn't care less. Lexi's priorities were to get candy and have fun with her friends. Izzy needs to learn a little from her sister.

As for us parents, Hol and Ken's bottle of wine transported in a cooler bag saved the day. What's Halloween without standing on a pavement with a glass of red? Irene and Ronnie accustomed us to the tradition in Sunset Square and it's nice to know they have kindred spirits on the other side of the world!

2009-09-28T05:16:00.003+08:00

I didn't see this day coming. I saw the arguments, the talking back, the defiance of pre-teen girls. I knew we'd fight about doing chores and why I had said no to their sleeping over with so and so. I thought I had to be prepared with answers and the platitudes for those occasions they would come to me in tears, overcome with disappointment, overwhelmed by the cruelty of the world. I was prepared to be uncool, with the generational uncoolness of being a middle-aged, somewhat over-the-hill mother. At least we were on a level playing field.

Until we walked out the Steiners' house today and Izzy said, "Mum, you're embarrassing."

Ouch!! Wait a minute! I've come around to accepting the fact that my kids will never think of me as young and lithe. I don't even mind that they think I'm mean. I can live with being out of touch. But an embarrassment? Someone just shoot me now.

And with that, you realise that the gains you thought you had made since you were that awkward teenager were fallacious. I was embarrassed then and I had good reason. So I really do rub people up the wrong way. I do laugh in that weird braying way that my mother used to criticise me for. My friends really are looking at me and thinking, god, she's loud. So, maybe it's not Alex who needs the social etiquette class after all but me.

2009-09-17T23:07:00.006+08:00

Jamestown and Williamsburg. Two important towns in the formation of the United States that I never even heard of until about two weeks ago when Izzy picked a history project on American colonists and they popped up on my radar. My husband suggested we go to Williamsburg so she could see colonial life for herself.

It's like Disneyland for American history, a (Singaporean) friend described it to me. She's right. Some 85 per cent of the town has been preserved and restored -- much of it on the dime of John D Rockefeller -- and is now set up like a living history. The homes, shops, eateries and denizens of the historic area attempt to recreate life as it was circa 1775. There are also enactments -- some really excellent, like turncoat Benedict Arnold riding to town to tell the people they've been retaken by the British -- going on throughout the day.

About 9 miles across the James River is Jamestown, where 156 men women and children first came ashore in 1607 to set up England's first permanent colony in the New World. Jamestown no longer exists really, except as a recreation of that first permanent settlement (the first settlement, of course, was the lost colony in Roanoake, NC, which we visited in January). I found out that Jamestown (known as Powhatan then to the Indian tribes) was where the native maiden Pocahontas was abducted and married off to an Englishman. I was right about Disney!

I got a big kick out of our weekend in Virginia. In Singapore there are precious few relics left of the past and it was fun to see the hat tipped so courteously to it in a place like Williamsburg. Of course, in Europe, there would be no need for such elaborate machinations as people live with the past around them and very much alive in the present.

But in a country like America, which is always looking ahead (just like Singapore), I guess it takes effort to make sure that the past is not eradicated. Some of the re-imagining can be tacky (the Kings Arms Tavern has to serve Ye Olde Chicken Fingers alongside Colonial Game Pye) but for the most part it was professionally and respectfully done. The front and back doors of the Withe house (Withe was the first law professor of the College of William and Mary) are the originals, and it gives one goose bumps to turn the door knob to go inside and realise that Thomas Jefferson and George Washington had done the same.

But while J and I really enjoyed the experience, the kids showed only the occasional glimmer of interest. Mostly they bellyached. I'm tired, I'm bored, it's too much walking, it's hot, you never let us do anything we want to.

Oh boy.

No amount of persuasion that this is after all where their history as Americans all began cut any ice with them. They are 21st century kids. Izzy can accept the importance of knowing one's roots -- until she gets tired anyway -- but Lexi was totally unmoved.

I just hope she gets the point of it some day. Of the two, she is also the one who whinges every - single - Monday - about having to study Chinese. She doesn't see the need to keep nurturing those other roots of hers, in Asia, unless it's for bak chor mee!

And that's the carrot I'll use to keep her anchored to Singapore. I am loath that they should lose their connections -- either to America or to Singapore -- so I am thinking that it might not be a bad idea to spend at least two months each year in Asia. If I had my way, I would make it the whole summer of three months but I guess they would want to see something of their friends in America during their vacation time. Though the truth is that many of their friends in Chapel Hill are not in town for the whole summer either.

But it would be a pity if Lexi and Izzy do not realise and appreciate what a heritage they have. The genteel university town of Williamsburg is as remote in appearance and climate as you can get from urban Singapore. That both had a part to play in my daughters' being is a blending that is uniquely theirs.

2008-09-19T10:59:00.004+08:00

Our new car finally arrived today -- a Spectra Blue fuel-efficient Toyota Prius, though of course it was a little less so after having to be trucked 2,700 plus miles from California.

Incredible that we had to go across country to buy our car. When the idea first surfaced, via J's friend, Richard, we all went, "Naaaaah." But then it became clear that buying a Prius in NC was impossible. One dealer said we had to pay $1,000 to get into a queue. Another wouldn't even let us on a waiting list. We had to convey our requirements and then Mark Jacobson would contact us when such a car became available. He had some 25 people all waiting hopefully at the time, and something like 2 or 3 cars coming in each month. As we could not tell our heads from our behinds in such a situation, California looked more and more attractive. Two weeks later, our pretty new machine is sitting out on our driveway. Ironically, one of the NC dealers called last week and said a car would be available next week for us. Haha. It was still more expensive -- for the same features -- that our Californian import cost us, WITH shipping. HA. Have desperate buyers, will cut throats.

Now all I need to do is get my driver's license so I can drive our new baby. I must say that I will miss having a people mover, as they call them. However, since we will probably need a second car, maybe we should get one of those gas guzzling SUVs that are now going for a song!

2008-09-15T09:12:00.008+08:00

It's the Moon Festival tonight, though not here in Porter Place, I guess, which is silent as always. There are no children with lanterns and excited voices outside. It's quiet, with a cold and brilliant moon dazzling us through the trees but voicelessly.

In Sunset Way, there would have been lanterns and sparklers hung about the flora on the canal. The kids and I couldn't help but think about where we were this time last year. We remembered how Poniyem would light most of the sparklers and keep them going, one after another. There was some drama too. A lantern belonging to one of Warren and Su's children melted on to J's hand, burning it. The night ended in a hurry, with blisters and rushed bedtimes.

Maybe next year.

Today I got into our pool at Bridle Run for the first time. It was cold! I was surprised! I'm from the tropics. I need a little sunshine in my water. Another surprise. Yesterday, J arrived at the house to find men tearing up the roof. Luckily they put on a new one.

And then, while I snoozed on our lone stick of furniture (a wicker couch on the porch. Ok, it's a set, not a stick, but we don't have much else), J installed a solar tube in our closet. It was my idea but his labour. You know what, there are those of us in this world who are fixers of things and those of us who are content to let things fall about our ears. Guess which categories J and I belong to?? Today we went to visit with a neighbour whose husband is said -- with a faintly disapproving air when said -- not to do much around the house. I felt rather sorry for him, and can identify perfectly. I don't see the fun in being addicted to responsibility...

2008-09-12T01:18:00.003+08:00

Maybe it's time to be brave and resume this daily record. I stopped months ago because 1) I was busy 2) it seemed too mundane and I had nothing much to say.

But reading the entries about Kapalai brought that happy time back there again. Maybe the children will enjoy reading about our life together some day.

Today in Chapel Hill, it's grey and rainy. J has gone over to Bridle Run to contract a security company for our house. Work is proceeding at snail's pace since we closed on it on Aug 28. In fact, it's not begun, though the shingles for the new roof are sitting in their package, studded with raindrops, on our driveway. We are going to have weathered wood for our roof.

The yard has a distinctly overgrown and neglected look about it now. Here is the view from our living room. I wander about and wonder how I am going to keep the garden tidy when I have so little affinity for growing anything. Remember how I tried to kill the Japanese bamboo in our home at Sunset Way? Poni had to rescue it. Maybe I will send out a call for help to our friends, Irene and Ronnie. Could we replicate a Balinese wonderland by our North Carolinean pool?

Hopefully, one of the kids will grow a green thumb. Or maybe I will, in my stubborn middle age.

Not today, however. The afternoon is full -- Li Lao Shi at 3, Rainbow Soccer at 4.15, then South Point for presents.

2007-12-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

Today I went for my first run in weeks. WEEKS. With AJ running the desk it's impossible to have any kind of work-life balance. As a consequence I could barely run a mile without dying. Never mind. I will persevere.

After the unsatisfactory attempt at exercise I had a fairly productive morning, making breakfast and dinner for everyone. while J and the kids put up the tree. Lunch was a treat from ET at TMCC, which we were 45 mins late for. Luckily she is used to the Drakeses. It was splendid but as usual we had too much food and we rolled out of there in a carbo coma an hour later for riding class. E came with us and we had coffee at Gallop Stables while the kids rode. It rained a bit but neither they nor the horses seemed to mind.

After the class, we made a detour to ET's house to play with her dogs, then it was back home to finish putting the ornaments on the tree. Mum and dad, and Alan came for dinner. We had a good time watching the SEA Games and Haunted Mansion, which is a ridiculous film but good for family bonding on a rainy night.

J finally cleaned out his BCD tonight.

2007-12-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

Today we were completely lazy, wiped out after our vacation. While we were up at 7 and out for roti canai by 8.30, we were back in our room by 9.30, where we stayed till it was lunchtime, watching TV and lazing. J and I wanted to wander around town at first but Tawau seems pretty charmless, existing largely to support the oil palm industry around it.

Checked out at noon, went for lunch round the corner at Pizza Hut (awful), and then got picked up at 2 for our flight at 4. Tawau town is 28 km from the airport so we were there in half an hour. This flight left on time, and we were back in Senai by 6.15. We ate at the very decent Lavender airport cafe, then piled into the car and went home. The car was still there! And parking cost us only RM99!

Left the airport at 7.50pm, arrived in Singapore at 8.50. Dropped the Lohs, went home. Isabel had a shower then went to Pine Grove to spend the night. The rest of us unpacked, washed up and went to bed.

2007-12-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

We leave Kapalai today :-( much to the sorrow of all of us. Had two last dives, at Mid-reef and Hanging Gardens. Though the marine life was abundant, the dives were a bit of an ordeal for me. I felt nauseous and had a headache through the first and felt weirdly claustrophobic during the second. But we saw a spotted leopard shark, beautiful, and aerodynamic, at the Hanging Gardens. It was on a ledge about 25 m below the surface, and as we approached, it got up and swam away. It was about 6ft long, I should think.

Also spectacular was the school of bumphead parrotfish which were swimming at about 15m. There must have been 30 or 40 of them, and I swear you could hear their jaws clacking as they ate coral.

Anyway, we were back in the resort by about noon. Packing madness ensued, followed by lunch, and then a boat ride to Semporna. We left around 2pm, waving goodbye to Amin, the resort manager, and anyone else in the dining room who cared to wave to us. The moment we stepped onto the jetty at Semporna, everyone wanted to go back.

From Semporna followed a long tiring bus ride back to Tawau. We arrived at the Heritage Hotel at about 4.15. It's comfortable enough though they tried to charge us for an extra bed (which we'd already paid for) and were reluctant to give us an extra sheet to lay under the blanket. I guess you can't expect much from a small town or perhaps the exemplary service at Kapalai has totally spoilt us.

Luckily dinner was very good and pretty cheap, at the Nam Ling seafood restaurant near the bus station. Really fresh steamed tiger group, and mud crab fried in pepper till crispy, a lovely home made braised tofu, which Isabel scarfed, fried rice and egg foo yong, and two kinds of veg. We had five bottles of beer and the whole thing came up to RM235. Really excellent. We rolled back to the hotel and into bed.

2007-11-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

Today I have time off to spend with the family. Alan got a bungalow at the NS Resort and Country Club for Ethan's birthday. It's nice and big but a bit rundown. There was a notice to say the chalets are going to be renovated soon -- not soon enough for us, evidently.

Spent the morning prepping food like lamb chops and a potato salad; then left for Changi after a packed lunch. Shortly after we arrived it began to rain! So instead of the pool we headed for the arcade and karaoke lounge. Luckily the rain stopped around 5.30 and the kids got a swim in while the helpers and I eventually got the barbecue fire going.

We had a splendid bbq of lamb chops, spare ribs, chicken wings, sausages and a really yummy slab of ribeye. Ate till our eyeballs popped and then we had the ice cream cake. Kids played badminton indoors. After the cleanup, we sent the remaining food home with the helpers, bathed, quarrelled about where to sleep and went to bed. It was not the most comfortable night. Outside our window were screaming teenagers at some game. They didn't go on for too long, fortunately, but Alan, who was sleeping in the living room with Ethan in our tent(!) had to get up every now and then to turn on the a/c when it tripped. This went on all through the night. Happily the birthday boy slept blissfully through all of it.

2007-11-24T21:47:00.000+08:00

Today J was hung over for the second day running from the unbridled drinking last night so I left him to simmer in his sauce while I went out to shop. Bought clothes, shoes, perfume... that was the good part of the day.

The rest of it was spent in mindless doing-nothingness at Pine Grove with a pair of children who have no interest in anything but television. In the end I left them there on their own (Mum and Dad had to leave around 6 for a church event) while I went home to get into something more comfortable. At home too was unproductiveness and inertia. No response. I am really tired of being the one who always thinks about meals, and is always getting them. Does anyone ever make me a meal without being asked? Only Mum does. And today I knew I would get something to eat at Pine Grove without having to ask for it, and I did. Mushy peas with mushrooms and pork, something out of my childhood. I guess it's pretty universal -- only Mum gets it. Never do I come home to a meal on the table that I didn't already ask for.

So tonight I decided I wouldn't think about dinner for everyone and just have the mee siam Mum made. As a result of course the children went without dinner (neither Poni nor J bothered) and predictably they got hungry after they were done with TV at 10. I want to send them to bed hungry but Poni has made them grilled cheese sandwiches. .

2007-11-02T00:14:00.000+08:00

Today I went to work trying to shake off a feeling I've had for a while now that I've had a real lousy year at work and I'm not good enough for my job. Actually, I know why I feel that way, cos AJ told me so last week! J asks why I let one person colour my whole perception of myself. That's a good question. I've always felt the guilt, from when I was a child in school, that I should be working harder, goofing off less, be more driven etc etc. I've never felt good enough, really. Rationally, I know it would be more pertinent to ask if my superiors have failed me instead. In the end, it is who you are aligned with, and whose "ally" you are seen as which has more bearing on your advancement. All a monumental waste of time, but I guess some people really need to create challenges for themselves.

Anyway, the point is, as Ann said at lunch, it's best to work for oneself. At age 41, can I reinvent myself? Ah, that's where the question of drive comes in. I've always been a laidback kind of person, happy to cruise by on natural talent. We shall see if this project with Ann works out. At least I may be able to unchain myself from the implacable unappeasable mothership. Had a conversation with Zach about pay structure etc. He says cost of living is much lower in the US but the point is that I don't want to get stiffed by the company.

Finished the night with a drink under the stars at Sunset Tavern with J. It's nice to be able to walk home -- three minutes, tops! -- after a drink! But I don't know how long we will enjoy this place. The Lift Upgrading Programme may be around the corner. We got letters in the mail today about the Good News Chris de Souza has got for us. They are gonna put a door in our balconies which will open to the lift landing. That sounds pretty radical... Guess we'll have to wait till Nov 11 to find out!

2007-11-01T00:48:00.000+08:00

Today I had a day off, which was a good thing too since I was over at Ronnie and Irene's last night till past midnight (old people need more time to recover). J was out of the house early but Alexis woke me at 9 to send out for McDees. She came back with a list: 3 Egg Mcmuffins, 3 Hash browns, 3 Ice milos. McDees said it would take 1.5 hours but it was 11 before they got here :P The kids were beside themselves with hunger.

Lao Shi came at 11.30 and while Alexis and Dana had tuition, Isabel and Kaiqi insisted on going to the canal to catch fish. A & D followed after Chinese class. Of course Dana shouldn't have because she had art class straight after but did anyone tell me? Of course not. And of course KQ ended up in the water when she slipped in her inappropriate shoes. Still, it was kind of fun and there were loads of fish.

In the afternoon we went to swim and bowl at the SPGG in Dover Road, proving that nothing changes and school vacations don't need anything else to be memorable. I remember one holiday when I was a child when we went swimming at the Teachers' Club in Dover Road every day of the three weeks. The very spartan canteen served up the most wonderful burgers. Homemade and peppery, their smell on the grill would send my mouth churning with juices. They were slapped on a bun, which instantly disintegrated under their oily heat, and drizzled with tomato ketchup before being served up. Omigawd, heaven.

2007-10-28T16:26:00.000+08:00

Today we skipped riding class as Alexis felt ill. It sounds like she has some sort of gastric bug -- fever, vomiting, diarrhoea. Anyway, we all had trouble getting out of bed as usual, so it was just as well we didn't have to!

Made little headway with ironing and some tidying of the house. I went through the kids' shoes and threw out a dozen pairs. Terrible waste. I am so glad Poni is coming back tonight. We've been trying to keep some semblance of order in the house so that she doesn't think we are just hopeless housekeepers. I don't know what we will do in the US -- live in a tip, I suppose.

Then I had to go to work, the last Sunday, thank goodness of a month of Sundays. Though whaddya know, the desk has decided it's too painful to do one Sunday each so we're back to taking turns, which means I'll be working Sunday again less than a month from now! Argh.

The bright spot is that Dom is night editing, which makes life much simpler. But there were two stories today which had ominous outcomes... one was the lawsuit on herpes, and the other was the body found in a river, which turned out to be TT's grandma. She found out only when she got home from work and is devastated.

2007-10-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

Today we got another ticket for parking by the island in the carpark. I discovered it half an hour after it was issued, sadly. Once again our plans for getting out of the house early were foiled by the Drake inertia.

We made it out for lunch -- had ramen at Funan Centre and then some yummy kaya toast while J shopped for a new mouse. The kids were completely engrossed in their new DS games so it was a fairly dull couple of hours during which I felt like eating everything on the Yakun menu.

My token effort to working out today consisted of going to Royal Sporting House to buy trainers for the kids. I tried out a couple of pairs myself :-P but sadly I have not worn out my existing pair yet. We also bought a frisbee which we did put through a trial run later in a Clementi field. It had to be cut short, however, as Isabel did not have the right shoes and whined until we agreed to go. What a pleasant evening though. We walked back on the canal, stopped at a playground and then went to our local grill for sausages, Kurobuta pork collar and yellowtail cheek, washed down with a St Clair SB.

2007-10-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today I had such a good lunch! Bak kut teh in Jalan Datoh with kiam chye, pig's trotters, intestines and the most divine steamed fish with a luxurious melt-in-the-mouth band of fat around its torso. Theresa, Radha and I stuffed 0ur faces and had a provoking conversation about the meaning of life to boot. It's really nice when work allows time for a civilised meal with one's co-workers without guilt. Actually what we do without guilt these days (and increasingly more of) is to open a bottle of wine in the office come 6pm. Tonight it was a bottle of St Clair sauvignon blanc supplied by Irene. Very nice. And it wasn't yet 6pm.

Isabel went to Esther's party today after school. Esther's mummy chartered a mini-van to drive the little girls. They had a great time. Isabel played so hard she could hardly keep awake through her piano lesson at 8 tonight, and then hardly at all at dinner afterwards in Billy Bombers. I always enjoy going the branch at Jurong Point. The service is surprisingly un-Sporean (ie good) and the crispy fried chicken is a real guilty pleasure. The only downside is how crowded the mall is. At 9pm I had to wait for a table! This might not happen even in Orchard Rd.

At 10, we dragged our sleepy girls home to bed. Once they were safely ensconced, J and I watched another episode of Heroes season 2.

2007-10-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today we attended a bowling party at SICC for Monica's son and daughter. Inez and Alexis used to be in the same class. Inez is an extrovert and takes great glee in catching hold of Alexis and planting a kiss on her cheek. She chased Alexis around in circles until she got her. It's quite funny.

The party was quite a blast though neither of our kids ended up bowling. They had a High School Musical danceathon but the big draw was the video arcade in Island Bowl. These really are kids of the new millennium.

As might be expected, we ran into some old friends at the party and some old faces I could not place! It probably didn't help that I had had several glasses of sauvignon blanc by then but maybe they looked familiar only because of the wine!

I was very slack and made nothing for dinner. Heated up some storebought pizza and lasagne which were inedible, so we had popcorn while watching Star Wars Episode 2 for the 14th time instead. I love family movie nights.

2007-10-19T01:14:00.000+08:00

Today I had a real lousy day in the office. It was bad from the word go, when I woke up still tired from having gone to bed at 2.30 the night before. But nothing would have prepared me for the vicious attack to come in the afternoon.

That was SK, reacting badly that I had put her down for a job I told her there was no need to cover, two days ago. The scary thing is that I had no memory of telling her so, though I remember mentioning it, and her protesting it was no big deal. She confirmed with the people around her that I had indeed said there was no need to go and then she said it. Raised her voice and told me I needed help and I better seek help because I was affecting all their work. That I had done the same thing to another reporter earlier that week and I needed help.

I was really stunned. I sat at my desk and thought she was right; if my memory was so bad that I was letting reporters down, then I did need help. Who can function with a boss that flip flops from one day to the next? I sent her an email apologising and promised to write all communications down in the future.

I really was upset. What if I had early onset dementia? Or a brain tumour? She'd really thrown me for a loop with that one. But the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced it was an unfair and uncalled for attack. It was a childish and clumsy playground tantrum. Sure, I may have forgotten twice in a week but how often had it happened?? Not often at all! And we deskers have so much on our plates that it's not unusual for us to forget stuff. What she was right about was that I should fix it, and from now on I'll carry a notebook around. But to say I needed medical help was just a mean and nasty thing to say. RB actually came to my desk to tell me not to let SK undermine my confidence and that it was far more important to be an open person one could talk to. It was a kindness I won't forget.

Then later SK came to apologise and I made no issue of it. But when I told J that night, he wanted to call her immediately and give her a piece of his mind. I said there was no need -- she had reacted out of anger and frustration, and indeed it is frustrating to have a boss who keeps changing her mind. I hope keeping notes will render this moot.

2007-10-14T23:26:00.001+08:00

Today we were 15 minutes late for riding class, though I drove like a bat out of hell (and the kids STILL strolled in...). Erwin is apparently home for aidilfitri so they had a replacement teacher, Anna from South Africa. Alexis was very positive about her: "She's tougher than Erwin but very very nice!" she enthused. I think Anna gave lots of praise and encouragement, so that was a real boost.

While the girls did something active, I ate nasi lemak and played sudoku on Isabel's DS Lite. :P It's a pity the rest of the day wasn't as relaxing. It's the second Sunday I'm on duty and I idiotically decided to make lunch in between looking at the stories for the day. I made mac and cheese for the kids and panfried cod in lemon butter sauce (hey, if the kids liked fish, i'd have made it for them too) and a lettuce/green beans/walnut/boiled egg salad. It was abeautiful meal and I ate it standing up washing dishes in a hurry to get to work.

I must admit I feel somewhat harried with Poni gone, the kids neglected and work unavoidable. I feel like I am falling behind in all aspects. It didn't help that there was the familiarly sarcastic and overly dramatic email from a certain associate editor about a Mind Your Body story. There is nothing like a communication such as that to ruin my afternoon and I felt out of sorts for hours. I did fix the story though, I think. I hope. I also decided I would not let this person get to me because it would probably hurt me more than him in the long run to be affected by it.

This afternoon Isabel said she hoped I never got cancer and could I please see the doctor quickly if I did? Sometimes I think we are all candidates for the big C given the kind of poison we harbour in our hearts and minds, engendered from guilt, fear and self doubt.

2007-10-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

Today we heard that M's sister in law has suffered a recurrence of her cancer and is quite ill. She was very down about it. Her sister in law has two children, age 10 and 12, and her husband is not taking it well. He and his wife are very close. Perhaps the helplessness when faced by a terrible illness is worse for a doctor because you are always wondering if you could have done more or differently.

At night, we took the children to the Cancer Society's charity gala at the Ritz Carlton, where they had a catwalk by cancer survivors. It seemed like almost all of them were women in their early 30s. One of them snatched off her wig on the runway to reveal a bald head. Everyone cheered. But there were some elderly women among them, one of whom has not had cancer recur since 1951. She is now 89, and founded the society's Reach to Recovery programme.

We were invited by Ann Loh, whose PR firm is handling the publicity for the society's TV fund raiser. She had bought a table. The kids behaved themselves beautifully, and even ate some of the food. They seemed interested in the goings on but were most impressed by the hotel itself, and expressed a dear wish that we could stay there for one night!

2007-10-06T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today we visited the Geylang Serai market, to buy Hari Raya presents for Poni and Halimah's daughter. It was the first time any of us had been to the market. I'm constantly amazed by how little I know of Singapore. I'd passed it the previous night with Hui Chieh and Theresa and was amaazed by the crowds(!!) and the lights(!!) on our way to Kim's place for Hokkien mee with oysters.

Today we had prata, mee soto and kebabs instead, and all manner of deep fried flour. Our eyes were very round and big at all the bright lights and goodies on sale.

2007-10-05T02:31:00.000+08:00

Today I lost my temper with the children as we were leaving the house, because they were having a squabble and trading "stupid" insults back and forth. I told them I would not take them to school, which drew forth numerous apologies. I don't see why I have to drag myself out of bed to send them to school only to have to hear them abuse each other. It really gets me down. So I tried to talk to them about how they should settle issues between them, not resort to name calling but I'm not sure I got through. Maybe I did. They are pretty perceptive cookies but they definitely display signs of being children!!!

After I dropped them off I thought I shouldn't put off exercising any further. Was rewarded on my run by not one but two kingfishers, and the magnificent sight of a kite in full flight after a small bird (the would be prey got away).

While getting ready for work, I got an sms from Lee Yuen that Sharon's brain had started to swell again, so I stopped by the hospital. I was not able to get into the nicu as they were doing ward rounds. The curtain to her room was also drawn so I could not glimpse her either. The earlier decision had been to take her off the sedation and let nature take its course but later I learnt they had put her under sedation again with the result that the brain swelling went down.

The neuro ward is directly opposite the labour ward, which is not without irony. On one side you see young lives having just come into the world being wheeled out in their cots, safely wrapped up in blankets. On the other side lie -- mostly young -- lives fighting not to give in to the dark.

I left the gloom of the hospital and went into the sunshine back to News centre. Lunch was with a few young reporters spent discussing the sins of AJ. Unexpectedly I've become some kind of hero for sticking up for a reporter to him. Unexpected since the only reason I had to defend her was because of his pigheaded need to have the final word on all things, which makes him forget who he is talking to or about. I mean, she is one of the best reporters in the newsroom and he knows that so why imply she is lazy and unprofessional just to gain a point? Because of that he's now lost untold goodwill and respect from her and her peers. And from me, to be honest.

The discussion continued through to dinner at Kim's Place in Joo Chiat Place, where we had the most amazing Hokkien mee with oysters and lard chips, and chilli crab. The crab was beautiful: firm and sweet. We had a bottle of prosecco to wash it all down. Sweet.

2007-09-30T00:16:00.000+08:00

Today we did a lot, compared with the boring Saturday we had just had!

First there was riding in the morning, which we made in record time, thanks to Mario Andretti at the wheel. Twenty five minutes to Pasir Ris, not bad at all. Though it's far away enough, it's always pleasant to sit at the cafe and enjoy the quiet and greenery while the children have their lesson. Jonathan had the nasi lemak but I saved my stomach for Jones the Grocer later.

That's where we had brunch, after riding class. The children loved the candy and the big white hall. We had scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage with sourdough toast. Afterwards we bought some cheese, Turkish delight and caramel fudge. Then it was home to studying, or more like squeezing blood from stone.

I made chicken noodle soup for a late lunch, then we left J behind and went for dinner at the Straits Kitchen with the Muirs and the Alsagoffs. It's a splendid spread, isn't it, and very popular during Ramadan, I noticed. Around 8.15 we rolled out of there and headed to Chinese Garden for the lantern festival at Rabia's behest. She and the kids were the most enthusiastic. The men simply envied J for escaping the torture.

The lantern exhibition was predictably cheesy but the kids got to light lanterns, play with sparklers and take a ride on the mini-Viking. Even so, Isabel sulked that they didn't get to do all the rides. There's no pleasing some people!!!

It was 11 before we got home and then of course I got some hints that I shouldn't have stayed out so late with the children. THERE IS NO PLEASING SOME PEOPLE!!!

2007-09-28T00:24:00.001+08:00

Today was dad's 67th birthday. We celebrated it at Fortune Cuisine in Sunset Way. Not the best of buffets but the service was unreproachable so I'm not complaining.

Alan and I bought mum and dad the iMedic Pro, which was delivered in the afternoon. Mum says it was Alexis who figured out how to use it, without having to consult the manual. I can tell she's going to be very helpful in my dotage.

I had lunch today with Tzin Yih at Il Piccolo next door to News Centre. Midway I got news that Sharon had deteriorated and was not likely to survive. There was nothing else to do but abandon my desk and go to SGH to say goodbye. Other old MGS friends were there, a reunion none of us wanted. Sharon and Ken had bought 14 presents for their children -- for each of the days mummy would be in hospital. The operation went well and the tumour was benign. How quickly things can change!

I talked to Isabel later about this. It was sadder for Sharon's daughter, she said. "It's done with for your friend, but her daughter will have to bear with the sadness." Her daughter is seven and only knows her mum is in hospital for an operation.

2007-09-28T00:15:00.000+08:00

Today I learnt that my old schoolmate, Sharon, whom I have known since we were 7, had a pineal tumour diagnosed two weeks ago. She had it removed on Wednesday night in a marathon operation which went well (the growth was completely benign) but deteriorated rapidly the next morning when she began bleeding in the brain. Intracranial pressure is tremendous -- she is not doing well.

I saw her in July at the Founders Day dinner. She was her usual sweet self. Earlier this year we had met for lunch when she contacted me. We ate at Hooked on Heads in Thomson Rd -- her recommendation. It had been years since we hung out and we spent the time catching up on long long lost time. She was the same sweet, calm and wise girl I remembered from school. Why do bad things happen to angels? Please get well.

2007-09-25T22:57:00.001+08:00

Today Isabel got on the wrong bus. She thought she was following Poni and Alexis up No. 74 but she was actually on the bus in front, No. 157.

Seated on the upper deck (and wondering where the others were), she realised she was on the wrong bus only when it continued on Upp Bukit Timah Rd instead of turning into Clementi Rd.

Bless the child, she could have sat tight and cried; instead she hurried downstairs and told the driver she had taken the wrong bus (through tears though). The captain drove to the next stop, where he asked the passengers if somebody could take her home.

I wonder what he would have done, if a male adult had volunteered. Instead, it was an MGS girl, probably a secondary school student, who said she would take Isabel home. Together they got off the bus and began walking back to Clementi Rd.

Meanwhile Poni and Alexis were shitting themselves having discovered that the little one was not with them. They quickly got off at the next stop when they realised she must be on the 157, and jumped into a cab to follow it.

Luckily, before they had gone far, Alexis spotted her sister walking on the pavement, holding the hand of a bigger girl. While Poni paid the cab driver, she dashed out after Isabel.

They forgot to get the name of the kind stranger who was taking Isabel home.

I'm glad Isabel had the presence of mind to go to the bus driver for help instead of freezing on the spot. I wish I could have been there to prevent her from making such a mistake but I guess you can't be there always for your kids. But I was there to listen to her exciting story and give her a hug for being so scared and so brave. After that, we went on the canal and lit our lanterns for Mid-Autumn. Su Yin and Warren brought their kids to join us.

Final drama of the day was when the candle on Isabel's plastic Hello Kitty lantern burnt through the base onto his hand. It took half an hour under running water and two tablets of panadol cut with codeine phosphate to numb the pain!

2007-09-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

Today is Mum's 70th birthday.

We surprised her with dinner at Hua Ting restaurant in Orchard Hotel. Amy Ang very kindly arranged for a private room with complimentary peach buns and birthday cake. Apart from us and Alan, Mike and Siew, Chris and Chin and their children were also invited. We put up a happy birthday banner, and we had Tattinger champagne and a bottle of Chateau Margaux to start. Mum didn't know of course so we all hid behind the table in the dark and jumped out yelling "Surprise!!!" when she walked in. She seemed pretty chuffed. Alexis got it on video.

The children had cards for her and flowers. Ethan gave her a scarf which he apparently decided not to reimburse his dad for. "I'll choose it?" he offered.

All in all it was a satisfying evening, marred by Isabel scratching Alexis on the arm over the video camera. It took off the top layer of skin and had to be bandaged. Isabel spent the rest of the evening, which she had looked forward to, in disgrace.

Afterwards J and I disagreed over whether she should be punished for it. I argued she had been punished enough with the disgrace, and also she did genuinely feel bad for her sister. But J felt she deserved more to deter her from hurting her sister again in the future. Alexis pleaded for Isabel not to be punished too much and Isabel was in tears when I suggested grounding her for a month. Such drama.

2007-09-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

Today we went on the slopes for the third time. It was very cold in the morning and as we approached Coronet Peak, we could see the snow machines whirring merrily away to create that lovely powdery stuff for us to ski on.

It's amazing how much more comfortable one gets with all that STUFF -- the clunky boots, the skis, the poles, the gloves, etc etc!! -- by day 3. I felt positively expert getting everything on and then making my way out to the slopes. On day 1 I could barely move without falling over. By day 3, I felt confident that I would not disgrace myself by tumbling all over the place, especially when getting off the various lifts. That is, until Kheng had her accident...

But before that happened, Bret had us ride the chair lift up to the Big Easy, where we had come to such grief on day 1 with W**ker Dave. We all managed to get on and off the lift without incident, and even enjoy the views on the way up (at least, I did). The scary part of course was having to come down. I don't know how Kheng does it but she merrily speeds straight down the hill. For me, not hurtling down was the incentive for making those turns that Bret wanted us to do! I'd do anything to turn! But neither of us fell! Hurray!

After lunch (which I had very little room for, after a breakfast burger which consisted of bacon, egg, cheese, and hash brown between a bun!!) Kheng and I decided we should attempt the Big easy ourselves. This time I was not so successful. In fact, I managed to lose my way coming downhill and ended up in a heap when I realise I was headed for an intermediate ski jump. That little detour meant I had to take my skis off and trudge upwards in soft snow to get back to the start of it. Boy, was that a tough 10 m.

The third time we got the chair lift up, Kheng came to grief. The chair came around and she must have been looking in the wrong direction because she only half sat on it and when it lifted off, she fell sideways and hit her head on the edge of a metal box which housed the monitor panel for the lift. I turned around to see my friend slumped motionless on her side, and there I was, dangling seven feet in the air and not able to get down. What a pair of aunties!!! Luckily her shades took the brunt of the fall and saved her eye from getting gouged out on the corner of the metal box. But she's a game auntie and once she had recovered her composure, we went back up again. This time Ember and Bret were waiting up top for us so it was a much more successful run downhill.

The festivities over, we headed home to rest a bit. Then we met Bret for a drink at a pub in town. This one, like all the rest, had a fireplace. I'm going to miss this.

2007-09-09T18:49:00.000+08:00

Second time round on the slopes was a much better experience than the first, thanks largely to the fact that we had a much better instructor this time around and to ourselves too. Bret was great and LK and I felt a lot more confident and were much more competent after our two hours with him. We managed to get some of the basics right and are learning to turn. Tomorrow we have a final session with him but who knows when if ever I will get to ski again.

The weather was also beautiful and very mild. I think spring has truly arrived.

After skiing we went to town and bought some gifts to bring home. I am going back with a ton of teeth rotting candy. I miss having the kids and J actually. I think they would really enjoy Queenstown. Nonetheless, it's fantastic to have all this time together with ET and LK. We're having a ball. Tonight we had another splendiferous meal at Fishbone, where we had the best oysters I've had a in a long time. They were fresh, firm, creamy and completely delish... The grilled crayfish was also excellent -- sweet and buttery with a wonderful crunch -- and the accompanying Pinot Gris was very elegant. I was in heaven. To top a great meal, I had a hot choc from Patagonia Chocolate.

2007-09-08T18:59:00.000+08:00

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Yesterday's excursion to the slopes was so exhausting for me and Kheng, the greenhorns, that we decided a lunch at a winery was all we could manage today.

Heh. Ember treated to lunch at the Amisfield, where we had a hearty repast of ham off the bone, chicken pot roast with puy lentils and pancetta (so good!!!), linguine with grilled prawns and pork belly with fennel with a most satisfyingly crunchy crackling, washed down with sauvignon blanc, pinot gris and riesling. It was a most lovely location of course, with a view of Lake Hayes, and like every restaurant we've been to in Queenstown, and a roaring fire (this one had two fireplaces!) .

What could we manage after lunch but a leisurely drive through Arrowtown, over the the Kawarau bridge (where you can do a 43m bungy jump), into Cromwell, and finally Deer Park Heights, where there were more gorgeous views, animals to eat out of your hand (I petted a bison!!!) such as thar and lamas and miniature horses and goats... and LOTR locations. This picture was taken somewhere on the heights. It overlooks Lake Wakatipu, with Queenstown to the far right. I like the gloomy light. This landscape makes me think of Scotland; it has the same kind of heather on the windswept hills... As we drove up into town we could see the lights twinkling on Coronet Peak for night skiing. They looked so much like bright jewels on cake frosting, like Christmas!

Dinner was Thai, at a place called @Thai. We chatted with a friendly Kiwi couple, who are stopping over in Singapore in December. We bonded over the rice they brought us, which had been pressed from teddy bear molds, and we were each thinking of creative ways to kill our rice bears... The waitress asked if we were Thai, and said we were ordering just like Thai people. I wonder what that meant!

2007-09-07T19:50:00.000+08:00

The ski virgins took to the slopes today. Actually, Ber is quite the accomplished skiier by now and LK has had one outing prior to this trip so I was the only true newbie. Somewhat apprehensive about what to expect but it turned out to be more fun than I thought.

Like diving, however, it is fiddly, though not quite as equipment-intensive. First of all you have to get into water ski gear, which I had thanks to Mae generously lending me her suit, beanie and gloves. Then you need a pair of heavy ski boots which clip into skis. All this you must get measured out for. You also need ski poles, lots of sunblock and a pair of shades. Once we got kitted out we lumbered over to our beginners' class, which had about 20 people in it! Our instructor, Dave, made a weak joke about going slow for the sake of the Aussies, and we began. We learnt to shuffle sideways, make a wedge with our skis and attempt to stop ourselves that way.

It started to get fun but for the most part, Dave was a right w***ker. He was basically not psyched to be teaching us. In fact he concentrated his time on the best skiiers of the group, who needed the least help, frankly. There were two small ladies in our class who must have been in their 50s (they had Singapore accents) who just could not manage to stay upright on their skis. They fell many times and not once did he go over to help them. In the end they gave up on the class and didn't turn up for the afternoon session. I hope they got their money back.

We practised turning a bit before breaking for lunch, which we had at the cafeteria. Sitting down, I realised how tired I actually was... it is hard work! After lunch, we went back for more. This time we got on a higher part of the slopes via the Magic Carpet and then the chair lifts. I also knew I was getting tired because I had not fallen one time in the morning and in the afternoon I had six or seven falls. Not once did w***ker Dave come to my, or anyone's rescue. In fact, he got very stressed that a few of us was holding the class up. Everyone's waiting, he kept urging, as though we were deliberately stalling. I wanted to smack him with my skis, and probably should have. By the time we got to the bottom of the Big Easy, he had actually f***ed off. Great job, Dave. It was Ember who came to my rescue a couple of times and another time, the instructor from the other group helped me release my ski. I wish we had gotten her instead.

Well, five plus hours of skiing left us in no shape for any apres ski, at least not yet. We rolled ourselves home and rested for a bit before we went for dinner at the Bunker. That was completely awesome. It's a tiny place, about six or seven tables, and a roaring fireplace. The waiters were extremely attentive (one occasion when Ber inhaled wrongly and began coughing, all three of them whipped their heads in our direction to see if she needed help), the wine was good and the food was simply heavenly. I had crayfish risotto to start with and wished I had a main course serving, as it was divine. Delicate flavour of shellfish, crunch chunks of crayfish in a lovely stock and shavings of parmesan drizzled with crayfish oil. I was in heaven. LK had the most tender lamb rack for a main and I had a delish duck confit. Ember had the tenderloin but neither of us wanted to try it as she of course had to have it done to a crisp.

We rolled out of the place and my two greedy companions insisted they had to have hot chocolate for dessert. I do admit the hot choc smelt amazing but I would have thrown up to eat or drink anymore...

2007-08-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

Back to work today and my ambivalence about having to do so quickly turned to active dismay when I saw my email and landed instantly in the poisonous atmosphere of the office.

Do workplaces tend to be collection points of negativity? I was so tempted to hand in my resignation letter there and then. If going to work is such a dreadful thing, why do it?

The saving grace is that the politics tend to be contained in the rarefied atmosphere of upper management. The downside is that the rest of us get dragged into it too. It seems that the day before I came back to work was a particularly bad one.

I spent the day clearing my email (is there anything which is more time wasting??) and listening to the grouses of fellow workers. At about 7.30, a drink seemed like a great idea so the women on the desk headed to BJ's next door for a bottle of wine and some chicken wings.

Thank God it's the raspy end of a long drawn out week, for these guys. Me, I wish I was back on holiday.

2007-08-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

I don't go back to work till tomorrow, which is a relief. Wanted to take the girls out today but as it turned out they had a mass of homework to do online so we spent the day home doing just that.

Went out in the afternoon to purchase a security deposit for Poni's work permit. Then stopped by Holland Village to do grocery shopping.

Had mum and dad over for dinner. Mum's arm which was operated on is better but her frozen shoulder has not improved at all...

There was a delayed telecast of Man Utd's game against Portsmouth, which ended in a 1-1 draw. Pathetic start to the season.

2007-08-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

Despite having gone to bed at 2, we dragged ourselves up at 8 the next morning, appalled by the prospect of not having gifts for the kids. But first things first so we had ourselves some pho bo for breakfast at Pho Oso just down the street on Dong Khoi. It was pretty tasty but I think the best pho I've had is in Hanoi.

Not much by way of souvenirs for kids but we managed to buy a couple of lacquered miniature chests of drawers inlaid with shell at a shop which sold amazing replicas of sailing ships and other sorts of boats. Luckily we aren't collectors or we may have spent hours there.

As it was we had a plane to catch at 12.50pm. We arrived in Singapore at 4pm, to a couple of anxious phone messages from Alexis about where we were. Home by 4.45 to a couple of rapturous children, who greeted us with presents and home made cards! Isabel bought me a photo frame and J a mars bar, while Alexis had a rose for me. We were bowled over. Suddenly our gifts seemed paltry beside their efforts.

It feels nice to be home. The restaurants downstairs are open so we took the girls down to Rocky's for pizza. They have no school in the next two days, added bonus.

2007-08-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

Realised I had to make a dent in souvenir shopping on my last day in Hoi An so I left J to sleep in while I walked in to town. By 9am I felt like I was being socked by the heat. Nonetheless I managed some earrings and tee shirts before I decided it was time for cau lao. J texted to say he would come down for some as well. Based on recommendations by the tee shirt vendor, we tracked down Nhan (pronounced Niang) in the market, in a row of noodle sellers. Actually, we could have figured that out since she had the most customers sitting around her stall. Everyone shifted to make space for us.

The noodles were delicious -- udon tossed in a warm sauce topped with handfuls of fresh herbs, croutons and marinated grilled pork. We washed it down with Vietnamese tea (out of shared cups, errr) which a neighbouring stallholder then opportunistically sold to us. The market is busy, throbbing and full of activity and like any Vietnamese market, has motorbikes threading noisily through the human traffic. Insane.

After our most satisfying breakfast, we had a coffee at a cafe and went back to the hotel to pack up and check out. Booked a room at the Asian Hotel in HCMC for tonight, after deciding against splurging at the Majestic (next time!) and checked out of Thanh Xuan (tan soong). Five nights cost us USD142 here. Great value considering the size and quality of the rooms. I'd stay here again.

Then we went to town again -- by now the heat is even more relentless -- and this time decided to have a beer on the south side of the Bon Thu river for a view of the Old Town. Had some banh xeo then went to Restaurant 96 for grilled chicken on banana leaf, and fried wontons. Said goodbye to the proprietor and his lovely kitty, then biked out to meet Julian and Cecilia at Seamile. Nice beach, pity about the touting.

At 5.30 we went back into town to return the motorbike. I finished my souvenir shopping with the ubiquitous lanterns (finally gave in), and then we had a quick meal at Tam Tam Cafe with Ju and Ce. It's quite a lovely spot and I had a good crepe and egg and bacon salad but we could not linger with a car coming for us at 8.30.

Nice a/c drive to Danang but then we found out our flight was delayed and we did not get arrive in HCMC until nearly 1... The upside is that it took 15 mins to get to our hotel instead of 30. Hotel is not nearly as nice as Thanh Xuan but we werent expecting that. The best thing about it was that we finally got the shower I had been waiting 12 hours to have...

2007-08-13T01:22:00.000+08:00

Set the alarm for 7 but couldn't quite get out of bed. Eventually crept down to brekkie where we got the very nice staff to pack boiled eggs and baguettes for us. Coffee was all we could manage. Some kerfuffle about the route and where to get helmets before we could finally set off at 8.20am. The Golden Sands group are cycling up to My Son except Udo and Zoe, who are also on a motorbike. Julian and Cecilia opted not to get up.

The ride to My Son took one and a half hours with one wavering decision over how to get to Highway 1. The morning traffic was predictably harrowing until we got out of the towns; then it was a pleasant ride to My Son.

More angst about where to park the bike and the helmets but eventually we got to the ruins at about 10.30, when it was scorchingly hot. We sat in the shade of a crumbled stupa and inhaled our bread and boiled eggs. The Cham ruins are atmospheric but they were pretty well pounded to pieces by the americans during the war. A real shame. The cyclists caught up with us at Group B/C/D, the most well-preserved area of My Son. J went click click click while I went in search of diet Coke.

Wrapped up by about 1pm. The little pit stop where you catch the jeep had the most wonderful cau lao. I'm glad we weren't too hot to eat. Then the others headed back to Hoi An while J and I carried on in search of more adventure. Alas, without a road map it was impossible to go very far but even so, we were treated to idyllic scenes of bright green rice paddies under a wedgwood blue sky; women in conical hats and ao dai (honestly, it's a cliche but they really DO wear the gear!) and smiling waving farm people. One woman unlocked the Ho family shrine for us to visit, and we made a worthwhile detour to the river bank to watch some men at work unloading stones from a boat.

Turned back to Hoi An at about 4.20. The ride back took an hour -- good thing too, as my tight jeans made for uncomfortable riding. We collapsed into the pool until the mozzies drove us back to the room. Made plans to meet for dinner at Mango Rooms with the whole crew. It was fun, then ended up with a drink at a bar (the loudest one yet) with Julian, Cecilia, Trish and Frederick.

2007-08-12T01:11:00.000+08:00

Sunday morning dawned sunny and hot -- luckily this was not the weather yesterday... J and I got up to have breakfast, then effected a change of room from the noisy city view to the garden one (it cost us USD 6 more). The room with the garden view (actually, rice paddy view) is lovely; bright and with a generous breeze through the open doors and shuttered windows. We however put the a/c on and J went back to sleep. Eventually we got going again round about 2pm. Met the Weitzes and Julian and Cecilia at the Cargo Club for a bite. It is sappingly hot. I had a lovely stuffed squid which I scarfed with fluffy white rice. Then we wandered around town for a bit before going back for the nth shower of the day.

J rented a motorbike after the usual angst over price and how much petrol it should come with etc etc which spared us the angst of getting a taxi to Cua Dai beach. We rode to the fishing village that had been the route of the run stage of the triathlon. It was quite lovely, actually, with excited children (and adults) waving madly. There is a bridge through the village which overlooks the river and the fishing boats. It's quite picturesque.

Caught up with Udo and the Bond sisters in the village (also saw Evil Nasty French Race Lady having her run). Ended up at Golden Sands where we had a drink with Udo while waiting for Barbara and Zoe. J and I went ahead on the bike and found a place for us to have dinner. Watched some EPL games while stuffing faces on fried spring rolls, fried fish and grilled chicken. Ate the whole fish much to Zoe's chagrin.

2007-08-11T14:22:00.000+08:00

The day of the first Hoi An International Triathlon. We rose at 6.15 and left before 6.30 but it took forever to find a taxi (we had to go to Central Market to get one). No one will take us for $2 but at least this one was on a meter. We arrived in plenty of time as the start of the race was delayed till 7.20 (s0me cockamamie explanation about how Viet time is ACTUALLY 20 mins behind the official time??). There were less than 100 competitors so it's a pretty relaxed tri. J was feeling good, unlike the last unhappy experience in Phuket. The race organisers also brought in a bunch of little kids to cheer. Even more bizarre than Singapore.

The swimmers were off at 7.20 and J and I went off for breakfast with Julian (who is running with Barbara in Team Ape). Then we waited for the cyclists at the transition area. Udo was almost last out of the water so Tab took a while to complete the bike leg but she managed to gain a few places. Barbara was the first back of the lot, as expected, than Trish, Becky and Frederick. Then Tab. J was off like a hare raring to go. He was fast too, faster than I expected given how he had ZERO training but he completed his race in 52 mins or thereabouts and would have been faster had he not made a wrong turn at one point...

The thing is everyone finished, which was a miracle considering the chaos that the bike leg was. They had not closed the roads as promised (how could they, since the locals don't give a hoot about traffic rules) and there were no road markings so the cyclists, who were already strung out thinly given the small numbers, were in danger of 1) losing their way 2) being mowed down by a truck, taxi or moped. Amazingly, no one died. However, there was a jarring incident in the spat Barbara had with the Nazi Race Lady (actually she was French and her name was Nathalie) who DID NOT LIKE us being in the finish area taking pictures, despite the fact we were not in anyone's way and there was hardly anyone ar0und anyway. BW exchanged some heated words with her and at one point had to brush NRL's falsely consoling hand off her shoulder. Eeks. The pointed beaky nose and skinny shoulders of that one were rather apt.

But her aside, it was a good showing by the crew and I was most proud of J. We hobbled over to the Victoria to reproach the 2Ms for not showing up (they were still in bed!!!) then cabbed it back to the TX where he tried but failed to nap. Then we hobbled to the Mango Rooms to have lunch with Julian and Cecilia (I had the most fabulous and delicate red snapper fillet, grilled to perfection, and he had some shrimp in a delish ginger and onion sauce). At a loss what to do afterwards, but we finally settled on sitting on the beach with Barbara and Udo (how difficult was that).

Awards dinner followed at the Golden Sands, with the Weitzes kindly loaning me the use of their bathroom to get ready. Now, we have had better Awards dinners than this one, to be sure. First of all, the wait staff would not stop hounding us for our dinner vouchers. They smelt a rat and ok so we were scamming them (Zoe and I did not have tickets) but c'mon guys, the race participants were already paying USD24 a head in a country where that could buy 20 meals, so who's scamming who? But one waitress in particular would not leave us alone and came back every now and then to pester us for vouchers. I had fully intended to buy a ticket but got so harried that I decided not to anymore. In the end she left us alone when J raised his voice at her.

The awards themselves were fantastic, cos Teams Ape and Insane placed second and third (all right, there were four teams in total) and Trish placed third in her category, so most of our crew got red silk lanterns for prizes. But then we all had to sit through the most dismal cultural performance by the Vietnamese hosts (it'll take em a while to reach this century). Afterwards there was dancing but both the music and the sound system were dodgy, to say the least, and though Barb gave the deejay her own CD of dance music selected by Zoe to play (she would), Miss Don't-Tell-Me-What-To-Do spinmeister refused to play it (maybe her communist sensibilities warned her it would be dangerous and to stick to Modern Talking and Boney M -- I danced to Boney M!!! Talk about coming down in life...)

At 11.15 the party had to be broken up and while the younger set shuffled off to another Beach Bar, J and I found a cab to take us home. My husband is going to feel less than perfect in the morning...

2007-08-10T14:14:00.000+08:00

I thought J should take it easy today, the day before the race. We had breakfast in the hotel when we eventually got out of bed. Then we rented a couple of bikes to ride down to the beach. Now that was not so relaxing, what with less-than-ideal bikes and the usual mad streets (though a tenth of what it was like in HCMC). We stopped by the Victoria and found the 2Ms on the beach. Walked over to Golden Sands to drop off the EPA camera but discovered the Weitzes were in town, so we went back to the beach and lazed there for a few hours.

Cua Dai beach is lovely -- clean (at least, in front of the resorts), calm, quiet and picturesque. The kids would like to stay here, I thought. We sat under umbrellas and had pasta, white roses and a capi vodka (or I did). At 3.30, we made a move to cycle back to our hotel. That gave us enough time to shower and change to meet everyone at Good Morning Vietnam for the carbo loading dinner. It had great swordfish carpaccio and I had a most tasty tagliatelle with gambieri and caviar. Got in a quick tea with the 2Ms (Mo looking resplendent in a grey ruched top and beads) at Hai Cafe before going home to sleep early. But it was still 11.15 before we turned out the lights.

2007-08-09T13:57:00.000+08:00

National Day -- thank you, Rishad, for texting a reminder. Blame it on the rough night we had at the Saigon Comfort Hotel. If it were not bad enough that the walls were made of paper, someone decided to carry out house repairs at 3.30 in the morning. I kid you not -- there was HAMMERING, which went on for the better part of an hour. I think it came from next door. Eventually I fell back asleep and dreamt that a post in tripadvisor.com warned of this very thing happening. "Someone was hammering next door in the middle of the night,"warned a hotel guest in October last year. "Don't stay here." In my dream I concluded the hotel must be haunted but I do resolve never to stay here again. J and I grabbed a quick toastie and coffee at the cafe next door (in the middle of our sandwich we realised that this place must have been the source of the banging but it was too late to unorder...), threw our things together and flagged down a taxi to the airport. It wasn't early but the late night shenanigans put paid to our plans of visiting Ben Thanh market. Next time, IF I ever come back to HCMC. The roads seem even more insane this morning than yesterday. At least it's drizzling....

Our flight to Danang left at 12.30. A car from Thanh Xuan Hotel was waiting for us. We drove past lovely beaches (China and Non Nuoc) and the very unimpressive Marble Mountains; it was blazing hot and we were starving. Arriving at our hotel in Hoi An, we checked in, had a minor spat with them about the price (they had quoted me USD22 and were trying to charge us $25 instead -- two out of two!!!) by which time we were bad tempered with each other. It didn't help that we got lost finding our way to the Old Town, and walked 15 mins longer than necessary on unhappy stomachs but we managed to find Restaurant 96 at last on the riverside. It was atmospheric enough and the cao lau and fried wantons were tasty enough to make us feel better. Texted Mo and Mariko, who found us eventually. Mo refused to eat or drink anything made in the place out of fear of getting sick but she did pick at Mariko's wantons. The black and white house cat was very friendly, and made itself very free with my lap. She was a doll.

At 5 it got less hot and we decided to wander around the Old Town briefly before dinner. The centuries-old shophouses are beautiful, and I love how everything is grey stone or painted in ochre but it felt that 90 per cent of the shops were tourist shops. We are ruining everything, though J pointed out that Hoi An's old town may not exist if it were not for the tourists. Posed for pictures like good ones, then it got dark and we waited for the Weitz-Waltons to arrive from their beach hotel. They did, looking lovely and familiar, with the Bond sisters and we had dinner on the roof of the Cargo Club. Fried camembert, mango salad, and grilled chicken on lime leaf, with two bottles of wine. All good and it cost the princely sum of USD10 per head. Udo paid.

They headedback to their hotel (the shuttle bus left early) while J and I had crepes for dessert with the 2Ms in the garden of Tam Tam Cafe. It's all charming -- I wonder what this town was like in the old days. J and I walked back to our hotel and drank in the quiet dark streets, lit only with lanterns and lights from the houses, with all the honking stopped.

2007-08-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

On leave; drove the girls to school dressed in red and white; finished packing and booked a hotel room while JD went to collect his visa; flight at 11.20 from BT. Arrived Ho Chi Minh at 1.40; the airport is even more efficient than Changi! By the time we cleared immigration -- and there was barely a queue -- our bags were already waiting for us at the carousel. Tried to change tomorrow's flight at the Pacific Airlines counter but a mixture of having no language and suspicion we were being taken for a ride put an end to that attempt. It turned out they were NOT having us on, but alas, too late. What an inauspicious start to our holiday. Got metered taxi into the backpacker district of Pham Ngu Lao, where our hotel is. Crazy streets full of motorbikes, everyone swerving to avoid each other and beeping the hell out of the world. Buildings higgledy-piggledy; power lines like black ropes in the sky. Drove past the Reunification Palace -- so this is where the south fell. Arrived at Saigon Comfort at 2.30, hungry as anything, but at least it's not overly hot with the slight drizzle. Checked into our room for USD22; decent enough if it does smell of kitty litter.... Along our street is Pho 24; went in search of sustenance and had our first meal in Vietnam: hearty, sustaining pho bo tai with fat brisket (for me) and flank steak (for JD). Walked from there to Pacific Airlines office in Dong Khoi to change our flight tomorrow (price has now gone up from US$26 at the airport to $32.30 but what the hell). Across the road is the Majestic, with a charming rooftop bar where we had a drink (diet coke for me) and a view of the very busy, teeming Saigon River. Excellent. From there we ventured northwards on posh Dong Khoi (stopping for a small spot of shopping) to the Notre Dame Cathedral. Spent a few minutes at the wonderful Main Post Office, like going back in time to the Victorian era. The cathedral was closed so we wandered to Quan An Ngon on ?? where we had a sumptuous dinner for US$10, and finished with a drink on the 23rd story of the Saigon Sheraton. Isabel called to say she loved us.

2007-07-11T00:03:00.000+08:00

God save us from Pharisees like the letter writer in ST's forum today about how we should persecute gay people (by refusing to validate them) as aberrations of nature. He dared quote Jesus Christ hating such breakers of God's law. Jesus, who ate with prostitutes and loan sharks. Christ doesn't need such a champion, in my opinion.

I wish the righteous would not look on homosexuals as aberrations or anomalies, positive or negative examples which cause variation in statistics. Why do we speak of them in statistical or genetic terms? Doing so distances people, and they are PEOPLE. In all likelihood individuals who have struggled with who they are (who would choose to be a social aberration or anomaly after all?) and come to terms with themselves. They want the same thing as anyone else, like love and family and a normal life. They ARE NORMAL. Not something to be feared.

JD and I had another short night, having gone to bed the night before at 1.30. He took the girls to school but I couldn't drag myself out to go for a run. In slow mo today.

2007-07-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

One of the downsides of going from a hectic daily deadline to a weekly, is that it goes to bed with you. I dream about work and if I don't, I wake up thinking about it, anyway.

There was a story in ST today on a survey of countries and how they ranked on material and life satisfaction. I can't remember the exact details but Singapore ranked very highly on material satisfaction but not on life satisfaction. The survey authors (a think tank??) said the problem was a lack of leisure time to enjoy those material trappings.

Isn't that ever so true? I enjoy my job but I wish 1) I didn't have to do it every day 2) I didn't always have to go to the office. There is not enough flexibility. Sometimes one wants to goof off and take the kids swimming, but it's impossible to abandon the job and do so. Come to think of it, kids don't have much leisure time either. So while it is fulfilling to have kids, time with them is fraught by worries and pressures regarding schoolwork. Half the time I'm telling them to study or practise a musical instrument.

I fantasise often about moving to a place where life is slower and yet fulfilling and materially rewarding! Isn't that a wish to have it all? How do you have a big home, nice things, be able to eat out and have holidays every year? Doesn't that mean you have to bust your ass to have those things, unless you were Paris Hilton? Does material satisfaction have to be at odds with life satisfaction? Do you always have to scale back your expectations if you want to slow down?

I wish I knew! In the meantime, I can't sleep without help.

Theresa and I stuffed our faces at Pu Tien tonight. We had far too much food! (Now, see, you can over order and not worry about the expense if you have a wellpaying job...) The fried eggplant with pork floss was awesome. Everything was good as usual, actually. I will miss this food when we move next year!

Getting a cab back was not so easy, but one has come to expect this in Singapore, where taxis are plentiful but hard to come by, for some weird reason!

2007-07-02T00:00:00.001+08:00

Went to a wake tonight for May San's sister, Jennifer. She was 60, and had terminal colon cancer. There were no symptoms, May San says. The disease was discovered during a routine health screening which she herself conducted six months ago.

The pastor who gave the homily at the Lady of Lourdes Parlour of Repose told us that one in five people would die of colon cancer. Isn't that frightening, she asked? I wanted to tell her that one in one person would die, fullstop. Isn't that frightening?

As she droned on about the wonderful knowledge they all that death was not the end, I couldn't help wondering why funeral sermons skirt around the horror and tragedy of death. A woman finds out she is ill in January and she can't even make it to Christmas. In the lives of her husband and children, there is now a hole, a huge void that will never be filled. They won't hear her voice again, be able to tell her about their day, or make plans for holidays together. Never. She is gone forever.

It is comfort to think that this is not the end, that there is another life beyond. Perhaps. But the homily skipped past the gut wrenching pain so glibly that I wondered where the grieving could find some solace.

I'm sure everyone went home picturing their own demise. I surely did. Death must be the worst thing anyone ever has to face so the only way to go on living is to pretend it isn't looming.

Mo and I had dinner afterwards at Straits Kitchen, where I had a decent glass of sauvignon blanc before heading home. The funeral wake in our void deck was still there. Isabel slept in our bed tonight. The thought of having a dead body just below our flat creeped her out, she said.

2007-07-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

Today was one of those frustrating Sundays where you allow yourself to hope for a day packed with activities and satisfaction (a day off well spent!) which inevitably results in disappointment.

But then it's my own fault for harbouring false expectations when I know that it's not in the nature of our household to be active or pro-active about packing a schedule.

My particular problem is that I tend to sulk, which then makes the day bitter for everyone else.

I had hoped to leave the house by 10 in the morning, thanks to a monotonous but persistent fantasy of having a leisurely brunch somewhere with a book or the papers, kids included. Reality: We didn't get up till 10, me and JD, and it wasn't till 1.15 that we were ready to leave the house, at which point I had already lost the will to live. It occurred to me then that I have difficulty motivating those in my charge to do anything. This includes getting writers to produce work prolifically and in a timely fashion.

With that gloomy thought in my head, I allowed myself to be turfed out of the house in search of food.

As the day turned out, it wasn't bad, though we made some bad decisions, namely to brave Vivo City (after we had narrowly escaped it by having lunch at Spizza in Harbourfront), and Sentosa. It is not my idea of time well spent to dive straight into crowds -- on the sky train, on the beach, in the public showers. I resorted to filling a Snapple bottle under the tap and rinsing my poor shivering children that way, to avoid waiting for a shower and missing our movie at Vivo City.

That was the highlight of the day -- watching Fantastic Four 2 at GV. 1) The airconditioning was a blessing 2) We had Superdog for dinner, snuck into the cinema, JOY. 3) We didn't have to elbow anyone while in our seats.

And there goes another weekend. Note to self: Don't expect this lot to be overachievers for funfilled weekends. And don't sulk. It ruins the hair to have a bad face go with it.

2007-06-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

JD crawled out of bed at 5 and went back to KL to pick up our passports from the hotel. He returned at around 9.20; hit some traffic in the city, he said. The kids and I were up at 9 and immediately the Disney Channel came on. Then we got dressed and went to the cafe for breakfast. The swallows had all left except for the babies in one corner. The courtyard is lovely. I stayed on to read my book after we had eaten, while the others went on up.

Isabel came down shortly afterwards and I agreed to go out for a walk. Alexis also wanted to come along, so we went down Jln Tun Tan Cheng Lock, which was difficult because there is no sidewalk and a steady stream of traffic along the road. Poked in a few shops and turned the corner to go down Jonkers but eventually they clamoured to come back so we returned to the hotel after about 45 mins. It was time to check out anyway so we woke JD from his sleep, threw all our things together and vamoosed. I'd come back if we ever returned to Melaka. It's a charming little hotel.

No one seemed to be hungry so Nancy's Kitchen and the chicken rice balls flew by outside the window, and then as we headed into Ayer Keroh, the children announced they were famished after all. We stopped at a suburban mall for Macdees and KFC, when we could have had Peranakan popiah! Arrrgh.

It was close to 2 when we left and we abandoned the idea of stopping at Riders Lodge since the children had to be at Danielle Charmian's sleepover at 4.30. Arrived in Singapore at 4, unpacked and packed again for the party. We arrived at Danielle's at about 5.20. They have a full night ahead of them with the Night safari and camping in D's living room!

JD appears to have some kind of food poisoning -- perhaps a bad oyster at Teo Soon Loong's -- so I ate dinner alone. Panfried cod, spinach and miso soup with meatballs. Then got on the phone with Serene and yakked for three hours while JD, suffering, went to bed.

2007-06-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

Last day in KL. JD left early to go out to Sepang and KLIA. Kids and I slept in, then ordered room service -- one big American breakfast for us all to share. We couldn't even finish it. Did most of the packing and Isabel wrote a story for JD for Father's Day.

Jun came for us at 12.15. As we were waiting for her at the entrance, this woman got out of a Lexus she had just parked by the side of the hotel. It was Goh Lek Ee, who was also in MGS, a year our senior. It turns out she is married to Charles's brother, Donald! My goodness, what a small world.

Charles had managed to get a table at El Cerdo (the concierge tried in the morning but was told it was full), so I got my pork knuckle after all! The crackling wasn't the crispiest but the panfried herb sprinkled on the pork were heavenly. Though a walk would have done us good, I could not persuade the girls not to get in the car afterwards, so we got a ride back with the Lims.

I did manage to persuade them to leave the room for a quick jaunt to KLCC. We had some 30 minutes in which we managed to buy a present for Danielle Charmian, whose sleepover they have to attend tomorrow, and a pair of jeans for Alexis. JD picked us up on his way back from Putrajaya.

We quickly packed up our stuff and checked out of the hotel. By 5 we were on the road to Melaka and pleased with ourselves. It was only on the outskirts that JD made the horrible realisation that in our haste to get out of the Equatorial, we had forgotten to empty the contents of our safe... and hence our passports, a small amount of cash and a lens were still in Kayel...

Frantic calls to the hotel and Jun yielded no joy -- no courier could be found to convey the items to us in Melaka. JD would have to go back for them tomorrow. I wished I could take his place but I didn't think I would find my way back to Jalan Sultan Ismail. Trying to push the burden from our minds, we checked into the charming Hotel Puri and went to Teo Soon Loong for dinner.

As before the food was good, and who should we run into but Paul and Olivia Jacob, with her brother and his family. Her brother looked awfully familiar and after an hour it came to me -- he had been a mature student at NUS when I was there. At first Olivia pooh-poohed the idea, then it turned out that I was right. Apparently he was by then a colonel in the military but his promotion prospects were dim without a degree. They sent him and a couple of others to uni to get their bachelor's. His colleague later became chief of air force, apparently, and he himself made general.

Well, after dinner we had a pleasant saunter through the Jonkers night market, then stopped for a drink at the Geographer's Cafe (the kids plonked themselves on the bar stools) before returning to Hotel Puri.

In one of the anterooms off the main lobby, dozens of swallows have made their nests. It's quite a sight. Apparently the house used to belong to Tan Kim Seng. I wish I could have seen it in those days.

2007-06-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

Today JD was up bright and early to go to the KL Railway Station. I dragged the children out of bed to come along, as I did not want to spend another day in the hotel. They came, most reluctantly, and only with JD helping to coerce them!

Navigating KL roads is a nightmare and predictably we got lost on the way! In fact, we made the same wrong turn we had the first night getting here and then another time we found ourselves on the road to Bangsar Jun had taken us last night! Luckily this highway has a rare U-turn which allowed us to make right our mistake.

Needless to say, by the time we got to the station, JD's nerves were frayed and he was in no mood to negotiate. So we left him and went to the station to get some roti canai (RM5.70 for three, plus ice milo and coffee). Eventually the kids stopped sulking (Alexis before Isabel) so things were a little more relaxed by the time we paid the bill. I even got them some chewing gum.

We wandered through the station with me trying to recreate for them how we had met Granny Pam and Jan Jan here when we put them on the E&O five years ago for Jan's birthday. The girls have no memory of course of driving up that time. We stayed a night then at the Ritz Carlton. They couldn't remember any of this and were barely interested. Eventually, I figured my way out of the station in the right direction of the Central Market. By then it was 11.30 and HOT. But the market is not far away, just north over the Klang River.

We wandered through it, blessing it for the airconditioning. The girls liked the stalls and we ended up buying a bird kite, and a pair of earrings for grandma. Leaving the market we discovered that Jack Neo and Mark Lee were filming in the alley next door. Mark is rake thin and was wearing a long sleeved clinging white tee shirt and bright red pants. Aiyoh. He has a nice easy grace about him but the LOOK! Anyway we stayed for a few minutes, watching with interest this stray kitten which was unfazed by the crowd. Then we headed north to Chinatown.

Didn't make it far cos Alex had a blister on her toe. We ducked into this modest clothing and shoe shop and bought her some very decent sneakers and socks for RM12. JD smsed that he was coming to meet us and, most bizarrely, just as we stepped out of the side door onto the street, he was pulling up to that exact point! Is that weird or what...

More predictably, we got confounded by an unmarked one-way road on the way back to the hotel and ended up heading to Parliament House, so we accompanied JD on a detour to the National Monument, which has a cenotaph dedicated to the war dead and an enormous statue of valiant soldiers, both dead and alive, desperately holding onto the malaysian flag.

It turned out to be a rather pleasant diversion, even though JD was raging a bit. I bought Isabel an ice cream. The monument reminded me of parks I had been to as a young child -- manicured, artificial, almost as though it had been dropped on earth by aliens and the only life left to it was from visits by curious onlookers. It had a real retro feel in that sense.

The noon heat got a bit much after a while. We left and this time, the girls and I took a taxi back to the Equatorial, where we grabbed lunch at the coffee house before Jun and Charles came for us, sans Becky this time.

They took us to the Royal Selangor Pewter Factory, which was a lot of fun. We got to see a bit of how they work the pewter (the production operators each get one little task to do and some of them have been there for years... for example, there is a lady whose job is to hammer the pewter with a small mallet to make a pattern. She has been hammering that pewter, day in and day out for 25 years...) and then we got to make our own bowls at the School of Hard Knocks. Each of us got a small pewter disc on which we chiselled our initials and then we hammered the disc into a bowl using a wooden mould. Isabel hammered her finger, but soldiered on. It was lots of fun. Then we had tea with Datin Chen, whom Jun and Charles and met two weeks ago, before we went back.

JD was at the hotel, driven back by the torrential rain. We had dinner at the bistro.

2007-06-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

Weather is awful, we have left behind the sunny blue skies. Here the sky is the colour of dishwater. At least it's dry. JD made his way out while the kids and I took our time to get up. We had breakfast at the bistro. Alexis had the omelette (which she didn't touch) and sausages, while Isabel and I had the roti kaya set.

Jun Leng arrived with her daughter, Becky, who might have been chiselled from her, they are so alike. She said that she'd just found out she's pregnant again. Great news! Afterwards she took us to the KL Craft Complex where the kids had fun painting batik. Alexis painted a unicorn, Isabel a bear and Becky a butterfly. JD eventually made his way to us. We had lunch at a lovely Italian restaurant nearby. I had rabbit, to the great horror and disgust of my daughter born in the same year.

After lunch, JD continued working while the kids and I went back to the hotel and swam in the pool there. The hotel is rather old but in a great location. I had a glass of wine and Alexis a watermelon juice. The RM1OO food credits we are getting each day are proving useful!

For dinner, Jun took us to Cafe Delicious in Bangsar. It did live up to its name though traffic on the way there was just horrendous. Going back though, we had a treat, a fabulous view of the Petronas Towers shrouded in cloud. The lights reflected on the low lying clouds made a fantastic effect. Beautiful.

2007-06-06T01:18:00.000+08:00

Day 4 of leave.

Finally used that voucher Dom gave us and spent the day at Spa Botanica after dropping the girls off at Science Camp.

It's a lovely setting but I tend to feel like a bit of a fraud at these lush places. I'm just an average nobody, making an average salary. What makes me so special that I get to be pampered? I'm neither lady who lunches nor tourist! But I must say it was pretty special, and perhaps we should take up the kids' suggestion to make June 5 spa day every year.

It was a 3.5 hour long indulgence. I started with the mud wrap. First time ever, and probably the last too. Does that mud stink ever! Besides it was icy cold when she slathered it on. That wasn't the problem though. The problem is that they wrap you in a thermal blankie and expect you to stay cocooned for 30 minutes. The moment she told me to relax I knew I had to wiggle my foot, rotate my ankle, move my arm -- worse, get up to pee!! That was not psychosomatic, I swear. I left a trail of mud to the toilet *eternal shame* Luckily I got her to cut short the worm time and I got to hop (had to cos was wrapped up in a plastic sheet) to the shower in 15 mins.

Next up was the scrub and vichy shower, which has seven shower heads on a horizontal boom-like thing that the therapist rotates over you so that you have the bliss of warm water from seven heads drumming on your entire body from right to left. This lasted for 25 minutes and was sheer heaven though I did feel bad about the amount of water we wasted when so many places on earth are experiencing drought...I don't think we'll get one for the house.

Then it was to lunch at the hotel coffee house before we walked back for our final massage. Very nice, and the flotation and lap pools afterwards were the just the icing on our cake of indulgence. I don't know that I care all that much for the spa thing but once in a while it really is a treat. I could imagine we were on holiday in Bali or Phuket or some place exotic with legendary service.

The one way I could tell we were in Singapore was by how most everyone was obsessed with the time. After our morning session, the therapists could hardly wait to bundle us off to lunch, and the driver who dropped us off at the restaurant in a golf cart repeated twice that the shuttle back was at ONE FIFTEEN (we didn't make it) so we could make our ONE FORTY FIVE PEE EM massage. When we finally got back and I was ready for my East West the changing room receptionist said to me severely, "It's 1.50". I dunno what she expected me to do, apologise profusely? but it has to be Singapore if we are all slave to the Schedule.

Talk about the tyranny of the schedule. Had to wrap up by 4.30 to pick up our dear children, who begged to go off with Danielle and Althea upon being picked up. D's dad very calmly agreed to take them (and feed them AND drop them off later), to the joy of all. J and I went home and got in a 4km run AND dinner with mum and dad before we hared off to our first Arts fest performance.

Which was the Vilnius City Theatre performing Romeo and Juliet. It seemed like a good idea at the time to go watch Shakespeare in Lithuanian. And it was. This one was set in a pizzeria (and what do you know, flour plays a significant role) and was of course in contemporary times. It was very good actually. The actors were convincing and the expressive language conveyed the passion and poetry without the audience needing to actually understand it (but there were subtitles, projected via powerpoint). The director said later that he was apprehensive about the reticent Singapore audience but was relieved to discover that people are all the same and will respond to what they can sympathise with. It's Shakespeare after all. Is there a playwright more universal and timeless? I doubt it. J and I discussed the play the whole way home afterwards and through my makeshift supper.

2007-06-04T11:27:00.000+08:00

Day 3 of leave.

Not having to go to work is wonderful. I like my job but I think I generally don't like to work, if that makes sense. Girls are at Discovery science camp, so there was a wee bit of stress getting them there on time (we didn't).

Then there was the pleasure of playing Peggle and watching An Inconvenient Truth in the afternoon while having a lunch of crab cakes and spaghetti with asparagus in a cream sauce. J was enormously hung over but managed to watch the film too.

At 5 we picked up the girls (protesting because they wanted to go to Danielle Charmian's) and headed to Vivo City for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Pretty godawful movie but I'd watch Johnny Depp recite the phonebook. Serene too, which is why she talked me into going to the movie. Next up, Ocean's Thirteen.

2007-05-16T21:30:00.000+08:00

The Great Gatsby

"We walked through a high hallway into a bright rose-coloured space, fragilely bound into the house by French windows at either end. The windows were ajar and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house. A breeze blew through the room, blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags, twisting them up towards the frosted wedding-cake of the ceiling, and then rippled over the wine-coloured rug, making a shadow on it as wind does on the sea.
"The only completely stationary object in the room was an enormous couch on which two young women were buoyed up as though upon an anchored balloon. They were both in white and their dresses were rippling and fluttering as if they had just been blown back in after a short flight around the house. I must have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and the groan of a picture on the wall. Then there was a boom as Tom Buchanan shut the rear windows and the caught wind died out about the room, and the curtains and the rugs and the two young women ballooned slowly to the floor.''

Tom Buchanan is to bring everyone rudely back to earth later in the book. Now the taut longing in the ending...

"M0st of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors' eyes -- a fresh, green breast of the new world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby's house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder."

2005-10-16T20:55:00.001+08:00

It's not remembering that gets to me. Not being able to piece together how I got here, pushing 40, wife and mother of two. It must have been a slow accumulation but every now and then, I catch myself as if waking up from a dream to wonder, startled, where did the years go?

One moment, the potential was there to be extraordinary; the next, with the driftwood of time behind you, you realise that you're not going to leave behind anything special.

People say, don't be absurd, look at your kids. It's usually people without kids who say this. You can't take credit (or blame??) for your children. Every day I realise how separate they are from me. And they don't roll back time in any case.

Who am I?