I felt a pang when I saw an ad for the new Clementi Mall in the papers today. It was one of those artist illustrations of the new mall rising behind the bus stop at the MRT station. Instantly it transported me back to our old neighbourhood.

I imagined myself shopping at the NTUC in the new mall, and having tim sum at the Crystal Jade Kitchen. How many times did I ride the 284 to the interchange, daydreaming along the way? And how many times did I walk Ave 5 back home after getting off the train? These were simple diversions and there should be nothing memorable about buying a pair of jeans at Giordano, or bringing home a packet of Brothers Rojak or roti prata. But there you have it. Nostalgia comes easy when times are gone, and now those seem like simple happy times, when the kids were little and it didn't take much to live comfortably.

And as I feared, the 11th birthday was less than hoped for. Even with a special treat from her grandparents of high tea at the venerable Carolina Inn, and several things from her wishlist among her presents, not to mention dinner at Red Robin (her choice as queen of the day).

But tea wasn't fun because she couldn't bring a friend along, and dinner was spoilt because her sister sulked at the choice, and her presents didn't include the pretty evening purse that her sister got a month ago, and oh, why couldn't my birthday be on Friday and not Saturday anyway?

I wonder how old we have to be before we start to appreciate that once time is gone, it's gone forever. That 11th birthday will never come around again, so is it worth fretting that things don't always go according to some vague idealised expectations?

I guess that's a lesson that comes easier to some of us than others, and I just hope she realises it before too many birthdays have gone by.

What Izzy found scary this Halloween was how something you've looked forward to for so long can turn out to be so disappointing. You can have an amazing circus ringmaster costume (red hunting jacket from thrift store $6, sequins and accessories from AC Moore $5, glitter hat from party city $6.99, jodhpurs and riding boots own), carve an awesome pumpkin ahead of time, and have your best friends over for a well-planned out sleepover and still.... your parents can spend too much time standing on a street corner in Meadowmont and talking with their friends till the houses run out of candy, the kids in your neighbourhood who were supposed to meet up on your cul-de-sac never show, and your sister can make the sleepover a misery by messing up your careful sleep arrangements and insist on having one of your three friends in her room in addition to her single own friend.

Ah. Now how will Thanksgiving and Christmas stack up? What about the 11th birthday next year? What's gonna fall flat next?

By contrast, Lexi takes these things very much in her stride. For months she had wanted to go as the Corpse Bride, but made a last minute change to use her Spiderella costume from last year as Vampira. I bought some fake fangs for her which she decided not to use in the end cos they made her drool. So she was some vaguely pale lass in a black dress but she couldn't care less. Lexi's priorities were to get candy and have fun with her friends. Izzy needs to learn a little from her sister.

As for us parents, Hol and Ken's bottle of wine transported in a cooler bag saved the day. What's Halloween without standing on a pavement with a glass of red? Irene and Ronnie accustomed us to the tradition in Sunset Square and it's nice to know they have kindred spirits on the other side of the world!

I didn't see this day coming. I saw the arguments, the talking back, the defiance of pre-teen girls. I knew we'd fight about doing chores and why I had said no to their sleeping over with so and so. I thought I had to be prepared with answers and the platitudes for those occasions they would come to me in tears, overcome with disappointment, overwhelmed by the cruelty of the world. I was prepared to be uncool, with the generational uncoolness of being a middle-aged, somewhat over-the-hill mother. At least we were on a level playing field.

Until we walked out the Steiners' house today and Izzy said, "Mum, you're embarrassing."

Ouch!! Wait a minute! I've come around to accepting the fact that my kids will never think of me as young and lithe. I don't even mind that they think I'm mean. I can live with being out of touch. But an embarrassment? Someone just shoot me now.

And with that, you realise that the gains you thought you had made since you were that awkward teenager were fallacious. I was embarrassed then and I had good reason. So I really do rub people up the wrong way. I do laugh in that weird braying way that my mother used to criticise me for. My friends really are looking at me and thinking, god, she's loud. So, maybe it's not Alex who needs the social etiquette class after all but me.

Jamestown and Williamsburg. Two important towns in the formation of the United States that I never even heard of until about two weeks ago when Izzy picked a history project on American colonists and they popped up on my radar. My husband suggested we go to Williamsburg so she could see colonial life for herself.

It's like Disneyland for American history, a (Singaporean) friend described it to me. She's right. Some 85 per cent of the town has been preserved and restored -- much of it on the dime of John D Rockefeller -- and is now set up like a living history. The homes, shops, eateries and denizens of the historic area attempt to recreate life as it was circa 1775. There are also enactments -- some really excellent, like turncoat Benedict Arnold riding to town to tell the people they've been retaken by the British -- going on throughout the day.

About 9 miles across the James River is Jamestown, where 156 men women and children first came ashore in 1607 to set up England's first permanent colony in the New World. Jamestown no longer exists really, except as a recreation of that first permanent settlement (the first settlement, of course, was the lost colony in Roanoake, NC, which we visited in January). I found out that Jamestown (known as Powhatan then to the Indian tribes) was where the native maiden Pocahontas was abducted and married off to an Englishman. I was right about Disney!

I got a big kick out of our weekend in Virginia. In Singapore there are precious few relics left of the past and it was fun to see the hat tipped so courteously to it in a place like Williamsburg. Of course, in Europe, there would be no need for such elaborate machinations as people live with the past around them and very much alive in the present.

But in a country like America, which is always looking ahead (just like Singapore), I guess it takes effort to make sure that the past is not eradicated. Some of the re-imagining can be tacky (the Kings Arms Tavern has to serve Ye Olde Chicken Fingers alongside Colonial Game Pye) but for the most part it was professionally and respectfully done. The front and back doors of the Withe house (Withe was the first law professor of the College of William and Mary) are the originals, and it gives one goose bumps to turn the door knob to go inside and realise that Thomas Jefferson and George Washington had done the same.

But while J and I really enjoyed the experience, the kids showed only the occasional glimmer of interest. Mostly they bellyached. I'm tired, I'm bored, it's too much walking, it's hot, you never let us do anything we want to.

Oh boy.

No amount of persuasion that this is after all where their history as Americans all began cut any ice with them. They are 21st century kids. Izzy can accept the importance of knowing one's roots -- until she gets tired anyway -- but Lexi was totally unmoved.

I just hope she gets the point of it some day. Of the two, she is also the one who whinges every - single - Monday - about having to study Chinese. She doesn't see the need to keep nurturing those other roots of hers, in Asia, unless it's for bak chor mee!

And that's the carrot I'll use to keep her anchored to Singapore. I am loath that they should lose their connections -- either to America or to Singapore -- so I am thinking that it might not be a bad idea to spend at least two months each year in Asia. If I had my way, I would make it the whole summer of three months but I guess they would want to see something of their friends in America during their vacation time. Though the truth is that many of their friends in Chapel Hill are not in town for the whole summer either.

But it would be a pity if Lexi and Izzy do not realise and appreciate what a heritage they have. The genteel university town of Williamsburg is as remote in appearance and climate as you can get from urban Singapore. That both had a part to play in my daughters' being is a blending that is uniquely theirs.

Our new car finally arrived today -- a Spectra Blue fuel-efficient Toyota Prius, though of course it was a little less so after having to be trucked 2,700 plus miles from California.

Incredible that we had to go across country to buy our car. When the idea first surfaced, via J's friend, Richard, we all went, "Naaaaah." But then it became clear that buying a Prius in NC was impossible. One dealer said we had to pay $1,000 to get into a queue. Another wouldn't even let us on a waiting list. We had to convey our requirements and then Mark Jacobson would contact us when such a car became available. He had some 25 people all waiting hopefully at the time, and something like 2 or 3 cars coming in each month. As we could not tell our heads from our behinds in such a situation, California looked more and more attractive. Two weeks later, our pretty new machine is sitting out on our driveway. Ironically, one of the NC dealers called last week and said a car would be available next week for us. Haha. It was still more expensive -- for the same features -- that our Californian import cost us, WITH shipping. HA. Have desperate buyers, will cut throats.

Now all I need to do is get my driver's license so I can drive our new baby. I must say that I will miss having a people mover, as they call them. However, since we will probably need a second car, maybe we should get one of those gas guzzling SUVs that are now going for a song!

It's the Moon Festival tonight, though not here in Porter Place, I guess, which is silent as always. There are no children with lanterns and excited voices outside. It's quiet, with a cold and brilliant moon dazzling us through the trees but voicelessly.

In Sunset Way, there would have been lanterns and sparklers hung about the flora on the canal. The kids and I couldn't help but think about where we were this time last year. We remembered how Poniyem would light most of the sparklers and keep them going, one after another. There was some drama too. A lantern belonging to one of Warren and Su's children melted on to J's hand, burning it. The night ended in a hurry, with blisters and rushed bedtimes.

Maybe next year.

Today I got into our pool at Bridle Run for the first time. It was cold! I was surprised! I'm from the tropics. I need a little sunshine in my water. Another surprise. Yesterday, J arrived at the house to find men tearing up the roof. Luckily they put on a new one.

And then, while I snoozed on our lone stick of furniture (a wicker couch on the porch. Ok, it's a set, not a stick, but we don't have much else), J installed a solar tube in our closet. It was my idea but his labour. You know what, there are those of us in this world who are fixers of things and those of us who are content to let things fall about our ears. Guess which categories J and I belong to?? Today we went to visit with a neighbour whose husband is said -- with a faintly disapproving air when said -- not to do much around the house. I felt rather sorry for him, and can identify perfectly. I don't see the fun in being addicted to responsibility...